8

Delay is NOT Defeat

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Days, Months, even years have passed by
And all I have done is to try and try.
Once bitten, twice shy
But I couldn’t do anything except for cry.

Attempt after attempt, I cried, I tried.
But the results never happened to be in my stride.
Am I too dumb – not worthy of this?
Should I just stop and never dream of bliss?

And there out of nowhere, I heard a voice so sweet
Stop crying, it said, and stand up on your feet.
Work hard instead of wasting precious time
Success will come to you when your effort is at its prime.

Don’t be disheartened that your success seems to delay
Keep working hard and one day, I promise, it will pay.
Don’t lose hope, don’t cease to pray
Your hard work has already got you this far away.

Success will come to you when the time is right
And then you’ll forget this sorrow and have a future bright.
Now for the exam, when you take your seat,
Please keep in mind – delay is not defeat!

– Aditi T.

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5

Useless banter/ Self motivation

A little bit more about myself, I’m studying to become a Chartered Accountant. That’s the Indian CPA. If you’ve heard of CA you’ll know for sure that it’s one of the MOST difficult exam to pass – in the WORLD. Yehp.
So basically there are 3 levels to clear and I’m on the last level (known as Final CA). And that is where the trouble starts.

I’m giving attempt after attempt to clear these exams, but haven’t been successful. Last attempt I managed to pass one out of the two groups. Phew. BUT the second group is now creating havoc in my life. Just got my results and its a negative again!!
My frustration is at its peak.

It’s not that I haven’t been studying. I HAVE studied enough to know I’ll pass (well, should have passed). So what’s happening, whaaaaat is going wrong? So many questions  to which answers I have none.
It is extremely depressing to see my parents struggle along with me. I’m sooo thankful that they haven’t lost hope on me (yet). So blessed!

I’m at that point in life where nothing right is going on. All I seem to be doing is existing.
As I write this post and casually removing all the built up frustration, I’m actually thinking if its better to just quit and find something else to do. Loads of people have quit, it couldn’t be a bad idea. And then another pop up appears from nowhere and reminds me of my dream to be a CA.

So here’s a little pep talk for myself, gotta continue to believe in myself.
I gotta believe in myself, right? If I don’t who else will? Just because I failed once, doesn’t mean I’ll never be able to ace it. Need to hold your head up high, Aditi, and once again give it your all – for the very last time! And this time with all the right effort and motivation, your dream will come true! Just wait for it coz success will come when the time is right.

Was this venting out of any help, Aditi? Did this useless banter  actually get  you to continue persuing your dreams?Are you feeling better?

Hell yeah, I am!

-A.